Republicus

"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door." The Statue of Liberty (P.S. Please be so kind as to enter through the proper channels and in an orderly fashion)

Name:
Location: Arlington, Virginia, United States

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Public Advisory

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs, to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer" to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, in cans, from taps and in large "kegs."

Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to desires to perform acts on horrific-looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking Beer, men often awake with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that "something bad" ocurred.

At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life savings in a familiar scam known as "A Relationship." It has been reported that in extreme cases, the female may be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer form of servitude and punishment referred to as "Marriage." Apparently men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this insidious Beer and the predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys.

For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages.

12 Comments:

Blogger nanc said...

yup.

yup.

and a big, fat yup!

i like golf.

did you get the accompanying video with this one?

it's available if you'd like the link...

7:53 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

I laughed and laughed. That is funny!

7:52 PM  
Blogger John said...

;)

8:39 PM  
Blogger Phelonius said...

Merry Christmas, one and all!

I enjoyed this article!

10:44 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Phelonius, I bet you enjoyed it...

This article sounds like something that would show up on your blog.

10:54 AM  
Blogger Phelonius said...

John and I have more similarities than, I bet, he would want to acknowledge.

I have sure enjoyed this blog over the years, and wish John all the best. More funny articles will not infringe on my turf.

3:42 PM  
Blogger John said...

I gladly acknowledge that we see eye to eye on many things, James, and I'm glad you've enjoyed this blog. Merry Christmas.

7:53 PM  
Blogger John said...

P.S. This does sound like something I'd read on Salamundi, only you would have written this (I did not write this).

7:55 PM  
Blogger Phelonius said...

I wish I had written this, actually...but that is left to other, more talented people than myself.

All the best John. You and I have had some interesting conversations over the years, and I am the better for it.

8:02 PM  
Blogger John said...

Likewise, James.

1:02 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Yes, I do believe that you, John, have much in common with James...which is probably why I frequent both blogs.

Seriously here...great minds think alike.

OH, and Merry Christmas John...oh and you, too, James...in case I don't catch you elsewhere before Christmas. :)

10:40 PM  
Blogger John said...

Thanks Kelly. Merry Christmas.

4:11 PM  

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