Republicus

"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door." The Statue of Liberty (P.S. Please be so kind as to enter through the proper channels and in an orderly fashion)

Name:
Location: Arlington, Virginia, United States

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Oh Yeah. Good Football.



We Right-Wing Washingtonians got a Reaganesque president in the White House.

We got tax-cuts. We got a deficit.

We got liberals hopping mad and screaming.

We got a global struggle for sheer survival and ultimate supremacy.

We got Joe Gibbs back at the helm of the Washington Redskins.

We still got a rival NY Giants jynx.

And we got the former-head coach of that ancient but still kicking Giants Jynx now the head coach of the arch-rival Dallas Cowboys.

The NFC East is the superlative division of the NFL.

The AFC is delivering their own champion--the Indianapolis Colts--standing head-and-shoulders above all others at 13-0.

All is well in the universe.

Chicken-wings.

Chili-topped Nachos.

Neighborhood Norms and Cliffies.

Cutie-pies and hotties.

Heads or tails.

Miller Lite.

Tastes great, less filling.

(Take your pick, or fight it out).

Let's armwrestle!

Don't call me Ishmael.

Call me Beowulf.

God Bless America.

And Merry Christmas.

So there Republicus was, last Sunday afternoon, at his neighborhood football bar, a sudzy establishment with five televisions simultaneously showing five different games (with a giant-screen in the back-room bar hogged for the Redskins), with tables of different-colored factions abruptly erupting with "HURRAHS!" and high-fives one quarter, and then falling deathly-silent in the next, and there came a moment in time, good people, when Republicus realized, shocked and awed: "Oh yeah. This is good football."

The NFC East is TIGHT, my friends, very tight.

The day began with the Giants at the head of the pack at 8-4, Dallas in 2nd place at 7-5, the Redskins in 3rd at 6-6, and the 2004 NFC Champion Eagles at 5-7.

Dallas was playing the Kansas City Chiefs. The Redskins were playing the Arizona Cardinals. And the Giants and Eagles were playing each other.

It was one of those days where a team you were cursing and throwing pretzels at a week or two before were now being rooted for in all earnestness.

And then it happened: the moment in time when you realize that the next THREE MINUTES of play could dramatically change the configuration of a division:

At the 2:00 minute warning, the Redskins were leading the Cardinals 17-13, with the Cardinals being well in the game.

With 2:06 minutes left, the Giants were leading the Eagles 23-20--with the Eagles in possession and aggressively pushing towards field goal range.

With 2:40 minutes left, the Cowboys were leading the Chiefs by 28-24, with the Chiefs also being well in the game.

ALL THREE OF THOSE TIMES REMAINING AND THE RESPECTIVE SITUATIONS HIT SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Do you know what that meant?

It meant that if the Redskins, the Eagles, and the Chiefs won their respective games within the next 2-3 minutes of playing time, the REDSKINS WOULD BE FIRMLY TIED FOR SECOND PLACE in the NFC East-- with the three games remaining in the season played against the rest of the NFC East (i.e. the Cowboys, Giants, and Eagles)!

Republicus was not watching the Redskins game on the giant-screen in the backroom at this point, but was in the main bar turning his head one way towards one television showing the 'Skins, then the next towards another showing the Giants and Eagles, then getting up from his stool and running down to the end of the bar to catch the Dallas-KC game playing around the corner!

Republicus comes running back to see the Eagles kick a 50 YARD FIELD GOAL AGAINST THE GIANTS WITH 1:52 LEFT ON THE CLOCK, TYING THE GAME AT 23-23.

Meanwhile, on the other television...The Redskins WIN! Woo-HOO!

Things are getting frantic as Republicus scribbles all this down on a napkin in some drunken hieroglyphic shorthand (which he is even now trying to decipher, so if there is an error here or there give or take a few seconds or a touchdown, well, that's because as soon as he would look up and around at this or that game, IT'D BE A WHOLE DIFFERENT STORY, and he'd have to scribble a sidenote and draw zig-zagging arrows on the napkin).

KANSAS CITY'S WINNING! THEY'RE GOING TO WIN, and...AW! "FFFFFFFFFFFF-FUDGE!" (only, like Ralphie, Republicus didn't say "fudge")

There's some some controversial call! And...

...DALLAS WINS! :O

Okay, okay, perhaps the Eagles will bring the Giants down a peg and...AW, Shhhhhhhh-*T!

The Giants win!

YOU SUCK!!!!

Sorry.

So, after all that, nothing's really changed: Giants at 9-4, Dallas at 8-5, Redskins at 7-6, except that the Eagles sunk to 5-8.

The Cowboys come to Washington tomorrow.

At 8-5, they sit in the sixth and FINAL playoff spot in the NFC, while the Redskins (7-6) are ONE GAME BACK.

Bring it on, boys.

Oh yeah. Good football...

7 Comments:

Blogger Kelly said...

OH, the intensity...I have to leave the room for the last 2 minutes of just one game...can't imagine three.

3:47 PM  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Skins rocked it today- Hail to the redskins, hail victory...

5:37 PM  
Blogger John said...

GO CHICAGO!!!!!!

(if they beat Atlanta tonight, and Skins beat the Giants and the Eagles, THE SKINS ARE IN!)

6:19 PM  
Blogger John said...

The Cowboys are OUT. Chicago wins...

10:45 PM  
Blogger John said...

So Republicus has Jeff--a theophobic liberal--"praying real hard" for Republicus (see next commentary section) and singing the Redskins song!

(and THAT from a Raiders and Bucs fan!)

Now if he can only get him to say something like "Viva Bush!"...

5:19 AM  
Anonymous Jeff said...

Viva Bush

In Prison!!!

7:09 AM  
Blogger John said...

Viva Lee Harvey!

In Club Gitmo!

6:23 AM  

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