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Location: Arlington, Virginia, United States

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Toto



The unsung Hero of The Wizard of Oz is Dorothy's little dog Toto, the canine equivalent of the little boy who pointed out that "The Emperor has no clothes."

When Dorothy, the Scarecrow, the Tin Woodsmen, and the Cowardly Lion quaked and trembled in fear and awe before the giant, disembodied head that was the Great and Powerful Oz, Toto wandered away from the paralyzed, huddled mass and sniff-sniffed his way curiously to the curtained booth, whereupon he drew the curtain aside and revealed...a humbug.

Toto died in 1944, but everyone knows that all dogs go to heaven, and her angel (Toto was really a she originally named Terry, and just picture her with little wings and a halo) appears to have been quite busy over the years pulling other curtains aside:

In 1997 the film Wag the Dog was released. It was about a president of the United States who manufactured a war in the Balkans to distract from a sex scandal.

Less than a month after the movie was released, the Lewinsky scandal erupted and would lead to Impeachment. By 1999 Clinton was attacking countries to shake off the stigma, and the massive bombing of the Balkans was one of them.

In that situation, the curtain was pulled aside for everyone to see the humbuggery going on before the Oz-like head of war appeared, but Clinton shamelessly soldiered on, anyway not wanting to validate the nexus that a backpedalling could be interpreted as acknowledging.

"It was just a coincidence," it was smirked.

Nonsense. The timing and subject were too uncanny.

It was Toto.

How about freak spring blizzards and cold spells occurring on the very day and at the same locations that Global Warming marches were scheduled for, and the mounting of a giant, smiling snowman in March that broke the record for size?

That was Toto.

How about the anchored body of Laci Peterson floating to the surface at the very time her husband Scott was being investigated for her disappearance?

That was Toto, too, digging around for buried bones.

When words are spoken that aren't meant for public consumption--but are everyone's business--Toto makes sure a microphone's around to pick them up.

Toto was there when Obama's preacher--the right reverend Jeremiah Wright--fell into a paroxysm of anti-American rage.

And Toto was there to make sure Obama was recorded saying that gun-owning people of faith become "clinging" toters and thumpers because of economic "bitterness" (suggesting that it was a reactionary phenomenon to bad political fiscal policies carried out by those in power, which, for the last two decades, went by the names of Bush, Clinton, and Bush, a pattern which should not be repeated, as implied).

Although Barack liked to talk about the attitudes of "typical white people," his comment was typical of the condescending attitude leftists have toward red state values of "Gods & Guns" held in every state to one degree or another. And because he made the comment in a San Franiscan gathering of like-minded left-wing elitists when he thought he wasn't being recorded (or wasn't worried about it being leaked), it was but another revelation of the real Obama behind the polished package that telegraphs an inclusive, tolerant, non-judgmental, non-hateful, "We Are The World" type of new politician (who is hardly new under the sun).

In short, he's a humbug.

Billary--of all people-- ran with it, suggesting that Obama's populist posturing is indeed humbuggery, that he's really "out of touch" with the God-worshipping, NRA-supporting, war-mongering, and alcoholic sensibilities of Joe & Jane Six-Pack of Pennsylvania.

To provide a contrast in character, the grinning Hillary--like a little keg of dynamite in her power-pantsuit-- then bar-hopped, slammed a shot, and assured everyone that she liked her guns REALLY big: She would "obliterate" Iran if they so much as laid a finger on poor, defenseless Israel (even though Israel could turn Iran into a sea of glass on her own, thank you very much).

Welcome to the Vast, Right-Wing Conspiracy!

Oh how I wish Toto was there when Hillary went off on her own explicit, foul-mouthed tirades, as credibly reported by many but which are dismissed as hearsay by the Clinton-loving true-believers (who are fools or like-minded scoundrels, each and every one).

He was there, however, when Bill--thinking that the mic was turned off--muttered this:

"You don't think I can take any shit from anybody for that, do you?"

He had been accused ("the shit" he was referring to) of intentionally exploiting contrasts in skin tone by referencing Jesse Jackson's caucus victory in South Carolina in the 1988 primaries as the standard to measure Obama's own victory in South Carolina, i.e. Obama was "just another black candidate" (like Jackson), so his victory there insignificant.

He has been defensively protesting the accusations ever since (too much, methinks), claiming that his point was that it was insignificant vis-a-vis the big picture of the full primary season and the general election as a matter of numbers.

However, he chose Jackson as the exemplar of that point when sundry other candidates won the South Carolina caucus but failed to go the distance, the difference being that all the others were white.

Anyway, the point here is Clinton's choice of words. He could've asked "You don't think I'd take any grief over that, do you?" or "You don't think I'll take any slack on that, do you?" or just "I'm not going to take that," but instead he blurted: "I can't take that shit."

It just goes to show that, behind the scenes, Bill is as characteristically foul-mouthed as Hillary is, and is not the eloquent intellectual he is billed as and likes everyone to think he is.

Anyway, Toto provided that. :)

As if on cue.

In the commentary section of the recent post "Scatology," I bantered with guest Berty:

"The poem 'Scatology' is, in fact (well, not really, but...) a metaphorical statement on an increasingly immature, potty-mouthed culture which has obviously been arrested at the infantile anal stage of development (as diagrammed by Freud), and shrewdly uses the bathroom setting and subject of defecation as a weapon of fire to fight that fire."

I then addressed Nanc's husband's discerning of it being, quite simply, "A very sh*tty poem":

"No argument there, but I'm pleased to point out that after devoting an entire post to a poem about defecation, the word "shit" finally appeared after 14 comments (initiated by me, and censored by you), which proves not only how unneccessary vulgarity is to communicate anything except vulgarity for vulgarity's sake (except when used in a humorous context as I used it with Kelly), but also the erudition, good character, and simple decency of the contributing guests that come here, and I'm happy about that.

...and is (among other things) what separates the right wing blogs from the left-wing ones."

Arf. ;)

23 Comments:

Blogger Farmer John said...

Toto was type cast. They were originally going to get a parrot to play the part, but Judy Garland wouldn't wear an eyepatch and complained about the prop peg-leg.

5:14 AM  
Blogger John said...

Buddy Ebsen was the original Tin Woodsman but the costume made him sick so they picked up Jack Haley two weeks into shooting.

I rewrote this and took out some of the superfluous stuff you read in the first draft.

5:37 AM  
Blogger Farmer John said...

I noticed. Nice piece. Now, if only we could get Toto to dog the campaign trail.

6:44 AM  
Blogger Phelonius said...

I like your article very much, John.

Toto goes my another name: "Murphy's Law."

There is an old axiom that this all reminds me of: "the chances of one not observing your actions is inversely proportional to the stupidity of your act."

The Clintons and the Obama crowd are suffering from this. I would suppose we should take pity......

OK, I am done with that.

That took all of 1 and a half seconds I guess.

The main problem with being a habitual liar is that sooner or later you have to deal with the lies that you have spread, and the more lies that there are, the more covering up you have to do. Both Democratic candidates have this problem, but in my view, at least Obama is newer to the game, so his lies are not as deep as the Clinton's lies.

There IS a point of humor for me in all of this. The Obama crowd has to deal with his lies about the terrorists he affiliates himself with, and the lies about his pastor, and his lies about how socialism will benefit the greatest capitalist society ever created. The lies that the Clintons have to deal with make them the mark of death for president.

Watch what happens now. Mrs. Bill Clinton is going to start attacking Obama, and Obama is going to start to bring up the things that make her unelectable. Whitewater, the health care debacle, her destroying Clinton's accusers, and the fact that Clinton was in fact impeached by the House of Representatives are just a few. The irony now is that every single time Mr. Clinton opens his gaping maw, he destroys his wife that much more.

If she kills him and I were on the jury, I would have a hard time convicting her.

7:05 PM  
Blogger heidianne jackson said...

great post, john...

phelonius are you familiar with schwartz's law? "murphy was an optimist."

7:53 PM  
Blogger nanc said...

there's an elephant in the room.

farmer - like john said, people true to the clintons won't believe a word of it - even if they're hearing it!

excellent post, john - you have a way with words unequalled by most small blogstandards.

did you see the "liagra" post at always on watch? hehehe...

*:]

8:45 AM  
Blogger nanc said...

hey! there's heidianne of biggirlpants!

they're finding you...

8:45 AM  
Blogger Phelonius said...

The Cintoons are a known commodity. What really scares me is that it was the left that introduced the first black candidate and not the right.

I would vote for a black woman for president in a heartbeat, provided that she had some real credentials and a philosophy that was even close to mine.

Obama is so far to the left that my political compass has trouble finding him. Mrs. Clintoon is also far to the left, but it is not the fact that she is a woman that puts me off. I am confident that her history will make it very difficult for her to become the first woman president because she has this same history of lies, deceit, misconceptions, and flip-flopping on issues that her famous husband has. In their case, Toto is tired from running.

Obama is another case. We already have the likes of Al Sharpton suggesting that if Obama does not get the super-delegate group then there are going to be demonstrations on the streets. A black man or woman of conservative grounds (Read: those that have read and understand the Constitution of the United States of America) would not have to agree with me 100% on every issue before I would trust them to run a country. My fear is that the radicals in the Democratic party have reached a level of influence that if you were to present arguments against policies like they have done with George Bush, Ronald Reagan, even the Clintons, then it would not just be arguments against a particular President that we do not agree with, but rather an argument against an entire race of people.

That could seem to be a speculation but we have already seen evidence that it will not be so. The Communist Party has this well outlined in the old Soviet Union. If you questioned the party leader's decisions, what you were really doing was questioning the underpinnings of Communist dogma. According to modern American liberalism, if you question a woman, you are questioning all women about their fundamental rights. If you ask a black man (AKA Obama) why he was a part of some questionable relationships, then you are against all black people.

It is this kind of mentality that makes the modern Democratic Party so dangerous. I am going to vote for the Republican candidate in this election, and the reasons that I am going to do so have nothing to do with how much I *love me some Republicrat/Demipublican McCain.*

What I hope is that there will still be a place where true conservatives can argue against a 9 Trillion Dollar defecit! We are bar-b-queing our own children and grandchildren. This is the legacy that we wish to leave? That we can sell THEIR souls and THEIR abilities to make a living because we are too damned stupid to control our spending?

Toto is breathless with all of the running around. He (she) is lifting the curtains around DC and what we are proving is that we are not really men. We are not really good citizens. We are proving the very worst that DeToqueville predicted in the 1800's. It makes me ashamed.

6:40 PM  
Blogger nanc said...

phelonius - i'm going to take a sexist stance. there is not a woman alive who is qualified to run this country. she hasn't even been born yet. if she had, she's probably died of good sense and old age and i don't really care what color she was.

men are meant to rule the world, but the hand that rocks the cradle...

hey! we're more comfortable in the kitchen baking cookies...and we're probably lying if we say we're not. cookies will get more answers than the finger on the trigger.

we're comfortable lying - see john's post on how women are better liars than men. i ain't lyin'...

9:57 PM  
Blogger Farmer John said...

(William) Pritchard came forward and delivered the following piece, which he had prepared for the day:

"'When superstition dark and hauty plan
Fettered the genius and debased the man,
Each trifling legend was as truth received;
The priest invented, and the crowd believed;
Nations adored the whim in stone or paint,
And gloried in the fabricated saint.
Some holy guardian, hence, each nation claims—
Gay France her Dennis, and grave Spain her James,
Britons at once two mighty saints obey—
Andrew and George maintain united sway,
O'er humbler lands the same odd whim prevails;
Ireland her Patrick, boasts her David, Wales.
We Pennsylvanians, these old tales reject,
And our own saint think proper to erect—
Immortal Tammany of Indian Race,
Great in the fields, and foremost in the chase,
No puny saint was he, with fasting pale,
He climbed the mountains, and swept the vale;
Rushed through the torrent with unequaled might;—
Your ancient saints would tremble at the sight—
Caught the swift boar, and swifter deer with ease,
And worked a thousand miracles like these.
To public views, he added private ends,
And loved his country most, and next his friends.
With courage long he strove to ward the blow,
(Courage we all respect, e'en in a foe)—
And when each effort he in vain had tried,
Kindled the flame in which he bravely died!
To Tammany let the full horn go round;
His fame let every honest tongue resound;
With him let every generous patriot vie
To live in freedom, or with honor die!
Nor shall I think my labor too severe,
Since ye, wise sachems, kindly deign to hear.'

6:24 AM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Family matters took me away from the computer for most of the day yesterday...so I am jumping into this discussion a bit late...

Ah well.

The thing that really gets me is that so many people see the curtain being pulled open, yet still won't see. As FJ and John pointed out, "people true to the clintons won't believe a word of it - even if they're hearing it!" They justify the "wizard" because everyone lies. Everyone does that behavior.

They are convinced that honor is no longer a character trait necessary in a leader.

Nanc said, "men are meant to rule the world, but the hand that rocks the cradle..."

For the most part, Nanc, I have to agree with you. I do not, however, feel that being in the kitchen is the only thing we do well.

I don't know that there is a woman, at the moment, who is the right person to be the leader of our country. However, I do know of women who have been excellent leaders. Margaret Thatcher was an excellent example of leadership that has been found among women.

Hillary Clinton is the WRONG women at this time or any time--without a doubt.

I want to echo what Phelonius said "According to modern American liberalism, if you question a woman, you are questioning all women about their fundamental rights. If you ask a black man (AKA Obama) why he was a part of some questionable relationships, then you are against all black people."

I do want to add that this only applies to Liberal women and blacks. Clarence Thomas, for example, was fair game.

9:36 AM  
Blogger John said...

Bill Clinton told a Philadelphia radio station on Monday that he believed that Obama “played the race card on me” vis-a-vis his Jesse Jackson comment.

He was projecting (as always).

He's a sick man.

8:18 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello John,

Clinton is bitter - He is mad at Barack. Remember, Clinton is from a small town( a place called Hope!) and his religion (Baptist) is what got him thru impeachment. So he was big time offended by Barack's "bitter" comments.

11:42 PM  
Blogger Z said...

Toto gets his just deserves! Emperor HeroToto!?

Please go to Evan Sayet's blog..the smut there is imcomparable. I read it just this morning and thought the exact thought you finished up with here. I wonder, is there QUITE such smut left by conservatives at leftist sites? OH, can't be..I forgot, they don't even ALLOW Conservative comments!

I really enjoyed this, John. thanks.

9:25 AM  
Blogger Just Some Guy said...

Kewanio Che Keekeru!

5:57 AM  
Blogger John said...

Thanks FJ. Right back atcha.

10:03 AM  
Blogger John said...

Anon said:

"Clinton is bitter - He is mad at Barack. Remember, Clinton is from a small town( a place called Hope!) and his religion (Baptist) is what got him thru impeachment. So he was big time offended by Barack's 'bitter' comments."

I don't buy that, anon. And it's more accurate to say that Clinton came from a town called Hot Springs (he was born in Hope).

Z said.:

"Please go to Evan Sayet's blog..the smut there is imcomparable. I read it just this morning and thought the exact thought you finished up with here. I wonder, is there QUITE such smut left by conservatives at leftist sites? OH, can't be..I forgot, they don't even ALLOW Conservative comments!"

The difference in character is stark, Z. Even on friendly territory, like the Huffington Post, the discussion is nasty.

"I really enjoyed this, John. thanks."

I'm glad Z.

3:08 PM  
Blogger Z said...

YOu just busy lately or not hearing your muse!? Missing reading something new!
all the best. Z

2:03 PM  
Blogger John said...

Z asked:

"YOu just busy lately or not hearing your muse!?

Z

A bit of both, but I'll get something out soon...

Hey Z, I checked out Evan Sayet's
blog.

Did you notice that all lefties sound and argue the same?

9:02 PM  
Blogger nanc said...

that's because they're coming from the same room - one of them's the floradorable one.

and they claim the rest of us posting there are the same person!

i'm off to see the wizard now.

*8]

9:15 PM  
Blogger John said...

Nanc, even when they're different people, they sound and argue the same, because they're mindless worker bees who get their orders and talking points from a centralized guru.

9:20 AM  
Blogger Z said...

John, the vitriol at that Sayet blog takes my breath away.......as bad as that site nanc comments at. UNbelievable. My troll followed me home from Sayet's when I stupidly forgot to click on ANONYMOUS.. I counted to 10 and he got there before me; actually, I had 3 for two days or so!!

I'm glad your muse visited..that picture piece above this is hilarious. I am STILL laughing at the "looking for a bone"..I hate to be indelicate, but FUNNY is FUNNY!!

7:09 PM  
Blogger John said...

Don't worry. I try to watch my language, but I wouldn't describe this blog as "delicate."

1:09 AM  

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