"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door." The Statue of Liberty (P.S. Please be so kind as to enter through the proper channels and in an orderly fashion)

Location: Arlington, Virginia, United States

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

The Bush-Hater's Bush

Okay, I've listened to complaints diverse and sundry about President Bush, analyzed the rants, raves, and screeds, and I think I got the gist.

Lemme get this straight:

1) Bush went into Iraq for personal vindictive reasons because Saddam had the audacity to put a hit out on Poppy

2) Bush also went into Iraq for political reasons, hoping to win the second term that eluded Poppy by doing stuff Poppy didn't and that were blamed for his loss in '92, like retracting the "Read My Lips" tax hike and taking out Saddam

Those were the personal motivators for Dubya the simpleton.

Unwittingly, or perhaps acquiescently, in pursuing his personal goals of revenge and redemption for Poppy, he is actually being the puppet of:

A. The corporate, global interests of Halliburton and Kellog, Brown & Root, petroleum hunters and war-profiteers who have corporate agendas with business strategies that targeted the second-largest oilfield in the world (Iraq) and the belligerent Baathist regime there (stationed in the desert like toy soldiers in a shooting range) as an opportunity to land The Mother Of All Contracts, essentially securing a no-bid multi-billion-dollar grant by the Federal Government to demolish an existing infrastructure and claim-jump the oil-fields

B. The Neoconservative Foreign Policy Advisors Wolfie and Perle, and all their cohorts in the media (The Weekly Standard, The American Spectator, Foxnews...) and Washington thinktanks, who themselves have an imperialist agenda for America and are agents or strong sympaticos for Israeli Prime Minister Sharon and the hawkish Likkud party, who themselves have a Zionist agenda for the Middle East

Both of those entities (A & B) have differing interests (one corporate, the other imperial), but not competing ones, as the removal of the sitting, America-hating, and anti-Semitic duck Saddam, the dismantling and democratizing of his disfunctional culture, and the "opening of the spigots" would serve both interests well.

Those corporate and imperial strategies could not be pursued with a Democratic Adminstration making policy, because everyone knows how noble and principled and peace-loving the liberal Democrats are, so they had to get an insider inserted, preferably Lord Darth Cheney, who was as good a drummer or bass player as anyone, but, unfortunately, would not do being in the limelight as the singing frontman of the band...

So they looked around and found Dubya, whose Poppy is a pal of Lord Darth Cheney, and who was already a queen of sorts in Texas, and could be relied on to carry out the pre-meditated seizure of Iraq because of the psychological inclinations of 1 & 2 above.

As to the question of electability, he had the benefit of rallying the army of disgusted Clinton-haters who felt that Clinton stole the throne away from King George I, and could exploit the sentimental value for that king (41) the way the talentless Priscilla does for The King (Elvis), and the way the lightweight John-John did for Camelot King Arthur (JFK).

(All that yearning giddiness for a monarch occuring on both sides of the aisle and in the heartland of a Constitutional Republic, but anyway...)

But they still needed another extra-million votes or so to beat the sitting veep--Gore-- in an election held during a time of peace and prosperity (however illusory), so enter the third Puppet-Masters:

C. The Leaders of the Radical Christian Right (i.e. the anti-choice, homophobic, illiterate biblical literalists)--a.k.a. "The Fundies"-- who controlled--or "shepherded"-- the political sympathies of millions of Red State sheep, and just as the corporate war-profiteers and oil-developers saw Lord Darth Cheney as one of their own, the Fundies saw the repentant and Born-Again Dubya as one of theirs.

Furthermore, the hostile takeover of Iraq (where the Biblical Garden of Eden and Babylon were) in the first term, placing our armed forces in the neighborhood of a beleagured Jerusalem, struck millions of Fundies as the appearance of missing jigsaw puzzle pieces that interlock to create a picture that depicts the global scenario forecasted by the end-time prophecies in The Bible, specifically the idea that Russia, Iran, China, the EU, and the UN are going to get sick of Israel and--against the will of the United States-- form a coalition of sorts calling for regime change and beseiging Jerusalem on the pretense of "peacekeeping" (but actually by the machinations of Satan intent on destroying God's Chosen People once and for all).

All that will be enabled because of the rest of the world's awareness that the United States government is in full control by the evil forces of (A), (B), and (C) above, an awareness that has already kicked in and is already reaping repercussions severely detrimental to diplomatic relations (supposedly).

Anyway, with Sharon, Likkud, and Israel about to get the tit-for-tat treatment for our imperious and totally unwarranted treatment of poor Sadaam, the Baathists, and Iraq, that will lead to the American mullahs Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell excitedly picking up the bat-phone to the Oval Office and recommending--no, urging-- the anointed Dubya to launch the Instruments of God's Wrath (i.e. nukes) and protect Israel, which is about the time when the scata REALLY starts to fly and hit the fan.

But it's all good, because before the Fundies and their puppet (the anointed Bush), can get hurt in the thermonuclear exchange, they are all whisked up to heaven without ever having to die, in the death-defying "Rapture" (as described in Timothy La Haye's best-selling Left Behind series, gobbled up by millions of politically obedient Fundie sheep).

Unfortunately, I myself can't attain escape velocity, because my own lewd and lascivious ways act like a ball and chain, so I'm stuck here with you perverts.

So we watch (on Foxnews, which knows what's REALLY going on) 1/3 of the earth and her oceans be irradiated and poisoned as the missiles fly, earthquakes split continents, and killer asteroids pummel the planet as the Battle at Armageddon rages.

Don't look at me. It's in The Bible (at least with one way of reading it).

BUT WAIT! Before the earth and humanity can suffer total destruction, Jesus Christ comes back, still pissed from the beating he took 2,000 years ago, and he and the raptured Fundies (with Dubya, too) stop all the fighting, send the bad guys to hell, and set up a Millennial Kingdom with its headquarters in Jerusalem, and administer to an earthly utopia for a thousand years until the Final Battle between Good and Evil, where Satan and his minions are completely and totally and absolutely and utterly destroyed and the good guys live happily forever after in some sort of Nirvana.

The End.

At least, that's what Dubya has in mind...

Lions, tigers, and bears, and war-profiteering Capitalists, imperial, war-mongering Neoconservatives, and End-Time Christians, all pulling the strings of Poppy's boy Dubya...

...Oh my!

By George I think I've got it!

Welcome to the Bush-Hater's World!

(and please, fasten your seatbelts!)


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